At the coffee shop…

A good friend - and a former youth group kiddo - is sitting behind the partition sharing the Gospel with his friend. Coffee beans are being ground for a perfect shot of espresso. 90s country is softly playing. Kathy Mattea.

As I sit here with my large caramel macchiato - hot with whole milk - I wonder what I am supposed to be doing with my life? Do you ever feel that way dear friend? Adult ADD is no joke. I have too many things. I overcomplicate everything. I procrastinate. I avoid. And yet, I am so very aware of all that surrounds me.

These little escapes to Get Roasted fill me up. Yet they also leave me a little empty. I feel guilty for needing to escape the farm and just go somewhere. Where there are no dirty dishes, muddy floors, or laundry piled high.

How are we supposed to balance it all? How do some women just seem to effortlessly have Pinterest-perfect homes, work full time, and have time to go to Target? Then I have to ask myself, is that even what I really want?

No, actually. I’ve decluttered our house, and that makes upkeep easier. The Farmer does the dishes. The basics are done. But for once in my life, I would like to come home to perfection. Wait…I just totally contradicted myself. I think I just discovered the real issue. I want perfection but I don’t want to do the work.

Creating and writing, talking to people, sharing the Gospel, these things are my jam.

And then I stop writing, because this once student, now preacher, stops at my table, and sits, and we have honest and raw discussions about our faith - despite him being evangelical and I being Catholic - and we figure out how we can tell the world about Jesus.

That’s the whole point my friend. Being open to honest conversations. Being able to know the Bible. Being able to share how God has changed your life. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing.

With purpose,

xoxo Carolyn